The Ocean

A poem about grief by Mary London Szpara

I woke early to catch the sunrise as it cracked the horizon and then began a search for shells. The crashing of the waves and the foam left on the beach as it moved back for another rolling hit into the sand reflected the emotion inside, leaving me a little out of breath…my tears were a stain like the foam on the waters edge.

Feelings build and I am completely powerless to stop the surge galvanizing headlong toward me with an energy that I cannot fight.
Legs collapse as it connects, washing me toward a riptide. It is futile to struggle against its force. The first rule of the ocean flashes like lightning through the subconscious mind. “Never swim against the riptide. Just float, or go with it. “
There is still a dark unknown – will it carry me out to sea to disappear?
The thought briefly touches the far recesses of the brain where fear and pain dwell “simply give up and drown in the sorrow”
Deny the thought! Ban it from reality! Giving up is not an option.
Quell the panic and  drift …
Until released…
A fierce willpower swells within to take control at the deepest level of survival to propel me forward through the barrier wave of emotions, casting me onto the shore to lie awashed in tears, emptied of thought-
knowing it wasn’t my time to leave this earth.
God has thrown me back among the living,
the seaweed

and the broken shells on the beach

Mary London Szpara

After 20 years in radio, Mary London Szpara hung up her rock and roll DJ and programming stilettos to become a full time voice actor, mimic, audio editor, producer, and executive producer of a syndicated radio show And Then There Was That with Sonny Hollywood Chase. Her writing skills were enhanced over the years as she wrote creative copy for radio ads, and then put pen to paper after the death of her husband and soul-mate. Her book The Loss World (Amazon) has become a stage play The Loss World Monologues and most recently, a short film has just been completed. She has produced 2 metal cd's, Metal Mythos Vol 1 & 2, and continues to work with musicians on a regular basis.

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