In Grand Rapids, Michigan, a city of 200,000, a grand total of 200 lefties turned out to rally for impeachment. The rally did not immediately manage to attract 200 lefties. Instead the very tiny mob of quarrelsome senior citizens shambled past trendy juice bars, restaurants decorated with festive lights, and a Subway shop while waving signs depicting President Trump as an orange with a combover.
At some point this sad gathering on ‘Impeachment Eve’ managed to get all the way up to 200 people.
The scene wasn’t much better in Boston Common where hundreds of protesters, in a city of 685,000, showed up to listen to former Governor Bill Weld, who is running against Trump for the Republican nomination in a campaign managed by his stepson, say something that neither the media nor his own campaign’s social media account saw fit to cover. And who can blame them? It’s Bill Weld.
The turnout was equally miserable in Philly where once again hundreds of protesters showed up at Thomas Paine Plaza to chant an original protest song they had composed just for the occasion.
“Hey hey, ho ho, Donald Trump has got to go.”
Even they knew it was futile.
“This isn’t to try and actually remove him from office, we know that’s not going to happen,” a second-year law student in Philly explained.
It’s a sad state of affairs when you can only get a few hundred protesters to call for Trump’s impeachment in the city that had hosted the DNC convention, and even they know it’s not happening.
Hundreds, once again, gathered in Chicago’s Federal Plaza to bleat about impeachment. So much for the city’s vaunted community organizers who couldn’t even manage to turn out as many people to call for Trump’s impeachment as for the premiere of another Star Wars movie or a drive-by shooting.
MoveOn, among other lefty hate groups, had called for nationwide rallies on ‘Impeachment Eve’. And they got them. If you interpret “rallies” and “nationwide” very generously. Or, as the Washington Post generously put it, “Modest But Passionate Turnout at Pro-Impeachment Rallies.”
The Washington Post’s passionate attempt to kill democracy died in failed nighttime rallies of hundreds.
It’s easy to blame the weather for the poor turnout in Boston, Philly, and Chicago. But what about Phoenix, Arizona, where despite moderate temperatures, only a few hundred turned out?
And for all we know it might be the same few hundred.
Desperate protesters divided by traffic held up, “Honk to Impeach” signs. But that’s not why the drivers, worried that one of those idiots would rush off the sidewalk and into traffic, were actually honking.
In Los Angeles, the rally boasted celebrities like Rep. Katie Hill, who was forced to resign over an inappropriate relationship and is holding a GoFundMe to sue everyone, not to mention Rob Reiner.
Sadly, they only got hundreds of people to show up to Grand Park and listen to Rob Reiner.
But that’s still more people than Rob Reiner was able to get into theaters for classics like Rumor Has It, North, The Story of Us, and his latest, Shock and Awe, a shot at the Bush administration, which made $77,980 despite the combined acting talents of Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, and Meathead.
You can see why Rob has focused on the political phase of his career as Carl Reiner’s talentless son.
But the impeachment rallies of Impeachment Eve were a bust from sea to shining sea. Even the reliable zoomer and millennial student base had abandoned impeachment activists in college towns and cities.
In Princeton, NJ, where the university boasts 1,289 faculty members and 5,267 undergrads, a little over 100 protesters showed up. Even the faculty of the various identity politics departments alone should have been able to manage a better turnout in a cafeteria line, never mind an anti-Trump protest.
In Ann Arbor, home of the University of Michigan and more radicals than you can hit with a dead raccoon, more than 1,000 people registered and only a few hundred showed up to the actual shindig.
Mayor Christopher Taylor addressed the sad handful of fellow radicals, telling them, “We value pluralism and diversity. We value welcoming the refugee, the immigrant. We value using the tool of government to support the neediest among us.”
The “tool of government” should have brought some of those refugees, immigrants, and welfare recipients to the impeachment rally. Sadly, no matter how many MS-13 gang members and Syrian terrorists you resettle, they can’t be counted on to show up at your impeachment rallies.
In Des Moines, Iowa, that familiar quorum of “hundreds” gathered to wave their little signs. One woman was wearing a Russian fur hat. It’s unknown if that was a comment on the temperature or Russiagate.
Someone also brought a sad little, partly deflated, Trump balloon.
In Stamford, Connecticut, once again, mere hundreds turned out. But they brought along an African-American fifth grader to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. He appeared to be the only black person there.
It was an even bigger disaster in Madison, Wisconsin, where only 200 people and a broken bullhorn showed up. The gang that couldn’t impeach straight hadn’t even figured out their sound system. Even when it’s as basic as a bullhorn. Speakers had to shriek to be heard by the very small crowd.
Only a few hundred people turned out in Denver, Colorado. In Fort Worth, Texas, 100 protesters showed up outside the office of Rep. Ron Wright. Who wasn’t there anyway.
In New York City, a small gathering waving a black banner reading, “Remove Them All” marched past a Sunglass Hut on the way down from Times Square. Organizers chanted, “Shut it down!” It was unclear what they wanted to shut down. There weren’t enough of them to shut down Times Square. But nobody could get into the Sunglass Hut while they were marching past it. So they did shut down the Sunglass Hut.
If temporarily shutting down the Sunglass Hut doesn’t stop President Trump, what will?
A woman held up a sign reading, “Trump digs his own grave.”
The way the small group carried the black banner suggested that they were using it for warmth.
The banner got tangled in the planters that had been set up to keep Islamic terrorists from running over people with cars. The momentum of the march collapsed as they tried to figure out how to untangle it.
“Impeach who?” the organizer demanded. As if they had all forgotten. “Impeach Trump.”
And then it began to rain.
The only place the Impeachment Eve rallies got any turnout was in San Francisco where 1,000 protesters marched to Senator Kamala Harris’ office to hear a speech by Christine Pelosi. That’s like going out for week old soy burgers and finding out that they don’t have any and you have to eat the bag they came in.
San Fran has a population of over 800,000 people. But it’s understandable that the other 799,000 stayed home. It’s one thing to march through bullets and clubs, but another thing to march your $600 Ferragamo loafers through progressive piles of Hepatitis infected human waste in Pelosi’s utopia.
The protests were meant to show that ordinary people wanted impeachment to succeed. Instead they predictably brought out the crazies and the kooks. In Naperville, Illinois, where, once again “hundreds” rallied for impeachment, a woman carried a racist sign reading, “White silence is violence.”
In San Francisco, one of the featured speakers was Alexander Hamilton.
The role of Hamilton was played by a British activist dressed in a tricorn and colonial clothing. The whole plan couldn’t have been any more misguided if the crowd had been waving the Union Jack. The state of activist desperation in San Fran is so bad that its protesters have started stealing from the Tea Party.
If they show up with a Gadsden flag, somebody should sue.
After all the noise, MoveOn, Indivisible, CREDO, and the whole gang managed to turn out thousands of angry lefties nationwide even as polls show that the majority of Americans oppose impeachment.
Everyone but Pelosi, Schiff, and the angriest activists have given up on impeachment.
In Oakland, a protester boasted, “I have the same bottle of champagne that I bought to toast our first woman president. When that didn’t happen, I put it in my refrigerator and I wrote ‘impeachment’ on the labels. And now I’m going to get to pull it out of the refrigerator tomorrow and open it up and drink it.”
Nobody tell her how impeachment works or she’ll never be able to drink that champagne.