Growing up in the 70’s, one of my favorite shows was Sesame Street. And particularly the Bert and Ernie sketches. They were (and still are) comedy gold. I even had a Ernie puppet (and yes I used to do the Ernie laugh).
Recently one of their skits showed up in my “suggested” you tube videos so I decided to take a few minutes and relive a childhood memory. Then I watched a few more. And a few more. And then I had a revelation: In several of their sketches, Bert and Ernie were spoofing liberal politics! Years before their methods became obvious! Ernie played the hyperactive liberal (gasp!) and Bert played the level headed (and I’ll have to admit) hum-drum conservative.
Here are a few examples from the B&E sketches that demonstrate traits of liberalism:
When liberal politicians encounter problems caused by their actions, instead of fixing the original problem they attempt to distract and cover it up causing MORE problems. This is brilliantly portrayed in the B&E sketch “Water Dripping”:
Bernie: Hey Ernie.
Ernie: What is it Bert?
Bert: You hear that? It sounds like water dripping, ya know?
Ernie: Yeah, that does sound like water dripping Bert. I probably left the faucet on a little bit when I washed my hands. I didn’t turn it off all the way. Goodnight.
Bert: Ernie, I can’t sleep when I hear water dripping.
Ernie: You can’t?
Bert: Would you do me a favor and do something about the sound of that water dripping?
Ernie: OK Bert. Sure…anything for you Bert. I don’t mind at all. Ol’ Ernie will take care of it alright.
Ernie turns on the radio at full volume.
Ernie: I bet you can’t hear that old faucet dripping now huh Bert?
Bert: Ernie, what is that?
Ernie: That’s the radio Bert!
Bert: The radio?
Ernie: Yeah…you said you couldn’t sleep with the sound of the water dripping. So I bet you can’t hear that ol’ water dripping now huh Bert?
Bert: No I can’t hear the water dripping now but I can hear the radio! And you know what Ernie? I can’t sleep with the sound of that radio either, it’s so LOUD. C’mon!
Ernie: Hey listen, don’t worry about it Bert. I mean Ol’ Ernie will take care of that too. I’ll do that for you Bert!
Ernie cuts on the vacuum cleaner.
Bert: Ernie, what are you doing??? Why’d you turn the vacuum cleaner on???
Ernie: WHAT’S THAT BERT??? I CAN’T HEAR YA!!!
Bert: I SAID WHY’D YOU TURN THE VACUUM CLEANER ON!!!
Ernie: BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T SLEEP WITH THE SOUND OF THE RADIO. WELL THIS WAY YOU CAN’T HEAR THAT OL’ RADIO HARDLY AT ALL!!!
Bert: ALLRIGHT…ALLLLRIGHT!! STAY WHERE YOU ARE, DON’T MOVE.
Ernie: OK BERT. GOODNIGHT!!!
Bert: Oh yeah I’m gonna get the vacuum cleaner….there cut that off.
Bert: I’M GONNA SHUT THIS RADIO OFF NOW!!! I’M GONNA…shut the radio off. Now I’m gonna get the water. There…OK. Alright, we can finally get some sleep with some nice peace and quiet.
Ernie snores loudly.
Bert: It’s not fair, it’s just not fair.
Another trait of liberalism is that they believe they are better judges of what we want and need than we are ourselves. They never stop to consider that maybe we don’t want what they are “selling”. But they want total control. Obamacare comes to mind. The skit “Ernie makes an ice cream soda” demonstrates this trait to a tee:
Ernie: I made you your favorite drink.
Bert: Look at that!
Ernie: A tall cool glass of unflavored soda water Bert. Your favorite.
Bert: My favorite drink. That’s for me huh? Oh boy great! I’ll take it.
Ernie: Just one second Bert…first I want to taste it and make sure it’s OK for my ol’ buddy Bert.
Bert: I’m sure it’s OK Ernie. C’mon.
Ernie: Bert, you can’t drink this.
Ernie: It’s too dull Bert.
Bert: I like it that way Ernie. My kind of drink. It’s dull, I like it.
Ernie: No no Bert. I can’t let a friend of mine drink a drink that dull. Just one second, I know what it needs.
Bert: It doesn’t need anything Ernie…what are you putting in there Ernie???
Ernie: Strawberry syrup Bert.
Bert: My soda Ernie???
Ernie: Now let me taste it and make sure it’s OK now.
Bert: I’ll take it as it is. C’mon give it to me.
Ernie: Not bad….but not good enough Bert. Not good enough for YOU. It needs a little something Bert. And I know what it needs…
Bert: It needs nothing!
Ernie: A scoop of vanilla ice cream Bert.
Bert: NO ERNIE!
Ernie: There we go. That’s what it needs. Doesn’t that look good.
Ernie: Let me just taste it to make sure it’s OK now Bert. Hmmmm…
Bert: Let me guess, it needs something else?
Ernie: You’re right Bert! How did you know??
Bert: It’s a wild guess Ernie!
Ernie: It needs a little bit of whipped cream!
Bert: No Ernie, please don’t do that!
Ernie: Oh boy does that look good! You know what? I had plain unflavored soda water and then vanilla ice cream and then strawberry syrup and then whipped cream. You know what I’ve made Bert?
Ernie: I’ve made an ice cream soda Bert!! Look at that Bert! It’s an ice cream soda Bert! WOW!
Bert: You may like ice cream sodas…
Ernie: Oh I do Bert!
Bert: But that doesn’t mean that everybody likes ice cream sodas. And you know what?
Bert: I HATE ICE CREAM SODAS!!!! UUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!
Ernie: Do yo really Bert??
Bert: YES I DO REALLY ERNIE!!!
Ernie: I had forgotten that Bert.
Bert: I just wanted a pure innocent drink.
Lastly, we have a sketch (“Ernie over-prepares for rain”) that is a hilarious parody of the left’s global warming hysteria. Who would have thought B&E to be so prophetic!
Radio Announcer: High today of 65 with a 50% chance of rain. So if you’re going out you might want to take along your umbrella.
Ernie: Hey Bert, did you hear that? See I’m going to the library Bert and I think I better take along an umbrella just like the guy said.
Bert: (reading a book) Mmmmmmm…
Ernie: You see if it rains just like the man says it may, I gotta be all prepared for it because I am planning for the rain. And so that’s why I take along an umbrella. But…uh….hey Bert. You know if we have a huge rainstorm Bert this umbrella won’t be enough. And I think if we have a huge rainstorm I don’t want to be unprepared.
Ernie: There, see Bert. Now I have my rain hat and my raincoat and my galoshes on Bert. And my umbrella so I am certainly ready for a very heavy rain.
But if it rains and rains and rains…and rains…well then we’re going to have what??? Hey Bert then we’re going to have water all over the place. And Bert we may even have a flood. And if I get stuck at the library during the flood then I’m going to need…food. Food Bert. Hang on just a second Bert. I’ll just need some milk and bread…
Bert: Will you take this umbrella off my book. It’s right in the middle of a sentence..
Ernie:…apples…ice cream…that should do it.
Bert: What is going on?
Ernie: Now I have the food so I’m certainly not going to starve at the library during the flood Bert. I certainly know how to prepare for a flood!
Bert: Ernie it’s not even raining out.
Ernie: Yes but it MIGHT Bert! It just might. And if it does Bert, if it rains and rains and rains then I’m going to be stuck at the library during the flood and I will be all-prepared for it.
Bert: Ernie you are not going to get stranded in the library, believe me!
Ernie: You’re right Bert! I’m not going to get stranded IN the library. I might get stranded OUTSIDE the library on the way to the library!! Here hold this! I’ll be right back!
Bert: Will you please stop this and take this umbrella off my foot!
Ernie: Here’s what I need.
Bert: What’s going on???
Ernie: It’s a life preserver Bert! If I’m stranded outside during the flood, you see.
Bert: Ernie you have GONE BANANAS!!
Ernie: No Bert. I’ve got my rain hat and my raincoat and my umbrella and my galoshes and my food and everything but….
Bert: Fine, get out of here with everything, leave me alone!
Ernie: Bert, Bert!!!
Ernie: How can I forget YOU Bert???
Bert: You didn’t!! You put groceries on me!
Ernie: I don’t want to get stuck out there without my best friend! What are friends for Bert??? C’mon Bert!! (Ernie shoves Bert towards the door)
Bert: What are you doing???
Ernie: We’ve all got to be there when the flood comes!!!
Poor Bert. Watching the global warming hysterics I can relate.
Next time we’ll examine the political leanings of the Sesame Street Martians. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.