Welcome to my midlife crisis! Indulge me for a few minutes of your day–maybe, just maybe you’ll be able to relate.
Turning 30 was easy, but turning 40- not so much. Perhaps it was the number itself that freaked me out, or it could have been the “Me” in the mirror that wasn’t as cute as she used to be. Beauty, that fleeting charm- cursed vanity!
Having struggled with bulimia for half of my life it would seem that my main focus was narcissistic, but truly my struggles lie deep within my own self worth. My life’s quest of living a healthy lifestyle emerged from having to deal with this thorn in my side. I battled with this “sickness” (dare I call it SIN) through my second pregnancy (well into my 30’s), all the while striving and searching for the truth that always seemed to elude me. Information and lies muddled together like a well concocted Mojito and I found it difficult to crawl through the mire. To God’s glory alone, prayerfully I was finally able to experience release from this stronghold that stifled my life for so many years. Now the restoration process had begun- another decade of searching, learning and surrendering- not always easy, often reluctantly and usually with set backs; mostly because I am rebellious and a non-conformist, NOT because God isn’t able NOR because there weren’t always selfless people out there willing to love me through it.
I had always asked myself “why”, but more recently “what”; what is my purpose, what am I supposed to do with my life? Hence, my midlife crisis- yes, I am a help-mate and lover to a most magnificent man. Yes, I have been given the highest calling to nurture and raise two lovely treasures…yet why did I feel as if my life was lacking? Where was the glamour of it all? The beauty was right before my eyes; I was missing it, just as I had done for so many decades before.
Beauty, I found, was crying out within my very soul and it was aching to come out to express itself in every facet of my being. Having been convinced in my youth that it was found in a certain body type, a small waist, long flowing hair, a certain height, etc., I now know it’s much more of what lies within and how you express this beauty towards others. A smile, a hug, an open home to the latch key kid down the street, a listening ear, wise council or prayer.
Joy is found in the journey…this I am able to see now. But I’ve also come to learn that the challenge of the chase is exhilarating and exciting. A new found passion has been set ablaze in my heart for sharing and helping even an audience of ONE; any ONE that needs a friend, some encouragement, an example of victory in the struggles of life.
I am honored and thrilled to be part of the Politichicks family and to share a little of what I’ve discovered about health and fitness, stumbling through life, waiting on God, and being encouraged by many lovely souls.
Until next time, all my best!