maxwell-smart-missed-it-by-that-muchAs BurkaChick, a typical prattling progressive, I was thrilled to hear the April Fools Day announcement of the White House Obamacare enrollment numbers. “Ha Ha” or “Boom” to the conservative naysayer who said it couldn’t be done. How could any of you possibly doubt our stellar ability to count numbers that are only “close” to actual (as in only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades)? I think you may have forgotten our White House “Sebelius-Snooker Up The Sum” conversion of the numeric chart in your predictions. You probably have as well miscalculated the prefix of lying to the American public, dropping millions from their existing policies to force them onto ours, counting the millions who only put our healthcare plans in their shopping carts, etc., etc., etc. And last but not least, the final equation is tallied by using “Uh, I dunno” to answer any questioning of our end results.

But don’t be discouraged all you Doubting Thomas conservatives. Think of all the wonderful results you can have in your own life when you use our “Sebelius-Snooker Up The Sum” conversion chart of counting “close” as being accurate. You will always pick a winning lottery ticket, your weight will always be the number you want and you can tell your bank your mortgage payment is in your shopping cart.

When I think of all the almost or sorta kinda close occurrences in my life that could now count as actual, I am thrilled! I can proudly say, I am a winner of several beauty contests (watched it on TV), I married Jay Z (his fathead is on my wall) and the story of my life is now an MSNBC special (had an on-line romance with a man who said he was Ed Schultz at

Last, but not least, if there is any poo-pooing of your “almost” accomplishments, you can Saul Alinsky-ize your critics with an unfunny skit on “Saturday Night Live” or have Harry Reid inform them their input is too stupid. Or if worse comes to worse, you can try the Lois Lerner pre-prison theory of denying everything, then taking the fifth. You can even have as a backup the gay brigade “attack & whack” your critics from employment.

PS – And a special “boom” goes out to ex-CIA chief Morell for his stellar use of the White House continuing “Fudge the Facts Formula” on Benghazi.


BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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