Why would anyone leave a sunny, 75 degrees Los Angeles to fly across the country to a chilly and windy, 20 degrees Washington, DC? To attend CPAC of course! I was told CPAC would be like a religious experience for a neophyte like me, so of course I needed to see it for myself. The verdict? Not only was it a religious experience, I was ready to join the cult! CPAC is the mecca for all things right wing.
It’s indescribable being part of a group of thousands of like minded, enthusiastic, cheerful and hopeful people who also flew in from from far and wide to mix it up with other like minded, enthusiastic, cheerful and hopeful people. The speakers were inspiring, getting recognized (as Anita Gunn) by my conservative heroes and “fans” was elating, being interviewed on radio row was exhilarating, seeing so many college kids wearing “Stand with Rand” and “NRA” buttons was invigorating. But the real thrill for me was the nightlife — and by nightlife I mean lots of boozing and cigar smoking with fellow boozing and cigar smoking conservatives. One would think that, even allowing for a three hour time change, there really was no reason to be up until 3 am every night. After all, there is so much to do during the day. But there was a very good reason — it was so much fun! I was told that CPAC virgins overdo the parties, so yes I’m guilty as charged.
But after three nights in a row of drinking, cigar smoking, dancing, laughing and closing down bars (followed fitful sleeping and early morning raging headaches), I seriously feel as though my IQ has dropped to about room temperature. Sadly, I think I’ve overstayed my CPAC welcome. My brain feels like it’s the size of pea. I can’t think properly. I can barely string a cohesive sentence together. Apparently, bad sleep leads to a smaller brain. I know this because a seasoned CPAC’er not so discreetly sent me the following article after seeing the state I was in. Tonight I’ll be back in LA, and tomorrow after a full night’s sleep, hopefully some brain cells will be restored!