The Audacity of a Bunch of Dopes by BurkaChick

Screen Shot 2013-03-08 at 9.31.40 AMAs BurkaChick, a snotty scandalized socialist, I am stumped at our Presidents latest State of Confusion address. Listening to all the marvelous achievements in job creation and government healthcare, I had to think to myself: “What country is that? I want to go there!” Till I realized our “Hope and Change Chief” meant here. Don’t get me wrong, as a typical pug nosed progressive, I am all for a little “If you like your health plan, you can keep it” con, but I had to wince a bit at the “audacity of dopes” displayed by my own. Surely our Dems must recognize how increasingly difficult it is to keep up our lib-fibs with so many unemployed and uninsured Americans. Was it too much to ask for a little “I’ll make it right”, instead of all our usual whiny “stick it to the rich”, bit—? Couldn’t we have owned up a little to our socialized snooker of the American people instead of delivering our usual “war on women” and “income redistribution” cow patty politics?

But just as I cringed in the raising the minimum wage for the unemployed and the usual lip service immigration declarations, it happened. The “I have a phone and I have a pen” mumbo jumbo. The testy tantrum that would put Nelly Oleson to shame. I heard it repeated many times in the hopes of achieving some low information saturation, but each time I sank deeper and deeper in my chair until my liberal lumbago could take no more.

Even in the pre-Super Bowl interview with Bill O’Reilly, I hoped there would be some culpable comment other than, “Fox News makes up stuff about me” or “Nuh-uh” to inspire us sinking socialist. But nooooooooooo, just the same old smoke that has run its course, like Madonna’s cowgirl getup at the Grammy Awards. The denial of pronouncing there was ever said “A fundamental change of America” was a glaring as the Denver Broncos Super Bowl game plan.

And speaking of less than stellar performances, I also now find myself running out of defense for our democratic team. What are we liberal lummoxes and pie-eyed progressives to do? You gotta give us more than what whiny incoherencies John Podesta tells you to do. We have “not a smidgen” of sense to work with other than your “all I need” is my phone and a pen lament. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I’ve seen this strategy played out before? (See video)


BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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