THE PROGRESSIVE THEME FOR 2014: “FLIP, FLOP AND FLAIL” by BurkaChick

burka2As BurkaChick, a sinking socialist, I have come to the realization our progressive babble of bunk–will plunk. Since our massive monstrosity (formerly named Obamacare) has been outed as the redistribution racket it was always intended to be, this healthcare thunder of plunder has awakened the American people. Just like our ship that got stuck in the Antarctic ice, so is our now our rattlebrained rhetoric and all the faulty cries of racism and injustice won’t dilute the fact: “The President Lies our Premium’s Rise”.

So how do we progressives get past our plummeting propaganda? We have to find some other web of liberal lies to continue to get the masses to suck up to socialism. Could it be our foreign policy? No, Robert Gates exposed our malice of intent for our American warriors. Could it be the scam of global warming using a Polar Vortex? No, those lies are about as transparent as Jay Carney’s beard or Obama contributors investigating the IRS scandal. Could it be Chris Christie’s “Bridgegate”? No, the comparison of Christie’s man-up news conference and our wussie waffling on scandals is too obvious. Maybe we can tout amnesty again, ignoring our failed 50th anniversary of “The War on Poverty” and the realization that too many of our own citizens need work. We could throw out a dangling “Promise Zone” and hope that no one notices our other promises weren’t kept? Or purchase big boy pants for Pajama Boy and have him lead our liberal charge of “If you like your scam, you can keep it”.

But alas, all we can do is flip, flop and flail and throw out “income inequality” goo and hope it sticks. We can say it defiantly and give each other smug hugs and kisses and pretend it actually means something different than it does to Putin and the Chinese. We’ll try and make some mish mash of sense of how to go forward with our democrat rants, but first have to get by our knockout punch to the public of “affordable healthcare” and “keeping their doctors”. To any of the millions of frustrated Americans losing their coverage who’ll tell us they’ll write to Washington for help, to quote W. C. Fields we’ll reply: “Why would you want to do that? He’s dead”. And as we flip, flop and flail and throw out nasty attacks of Mitt Romney’s family and Phil Robertson’s morals as a desperate distraction, we cross our fingers and hope the public doesn’t notice what we’ve done to the future of healthcare (see video).

BurkaChick

BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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