The War on Floozies by BurkaChick

Screen-Shot-2013-11-13-at-9.45.39-AMAs Burkachick, a liberal war on women wag, I have been intrigued at the new Colorado Obamacare On-Line Ad Campaign “Got Insurance?” As a femi-nazi, I was relived to see men put in their place as klutzy keg enthusiast in a pitch for buffoon “brosurance”. However, when the audacious adventures of Susie with her natty date Nate was revealed in a recent ad, I had to question the underlying message “Connect for Health Colorado” was implying. I was under the impression that as a female progressive, I was under siege and victimized by those rascally republicans. I was beaten down and bullied and should be complacent with my “woe is me” mentality the White House so blatantly blubbered.

But now, what’s this? An ad campaign with my fellow sisters boozing and schmoozing for healthcare–what am I to make of this? Perhaps it is another mawkish message from the White House, presenting Floozy Susie and her cohorts as their ideal promiscuous progressive? Does Susie represent what all liberals think about the new Democrat woman and how she should pay homage to ho’s with her healthcare? Obviously the dependent Julia role model was not getting the message through, so we liberals had to reveal what we really think about young women in America. And in turn show those republicans who boo-hoed socialized healthcare what being progressive is all about.

And the really good news for “Connect for Health Colorado” is that they have another year to insult and degrade our young generation, and insinuate how those rowdy Republicans are trying to topple her tartness. Why not show Floozy Susie a year from now? Popping birth control pills with shots as she waits months to see a doctor about her venereal disease (if she can afford her premiums). Her and her buddies can have fun at the gym getting drunk on red wine since they have no employment, while Nate is still trying to score from his apartment in the basement of his parent’s house.

So now “the fix” is in and we can go back to blaming conservatives and the tea party. Who cares if they stood up against all odds trying to respect and defend young people by keeping the American Dream! It is by far more important to ridicule, humiliate and lie to young people who will pay for Obamacare with their futures. The truth is, for us whiney, old liberals–the only thing that needs to “get fixed” is Susie and Nate.


BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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