THE PRESIDENT’S NEW RIDE
The top dog has got himself a new set of wheels. We are talking fancy-schmancy here folks and why not? After all he is the President of the United States of America and a powerful position indeed, warrants a powerful ride.
His new Cadillac One Limo is replacing the current 2009 model, which he fondly refers to as ‘The Beast’. The Beast is running fine as he takes it everywhere he goes, but the Department of Homeland Security advised he needed an update.
The president’s new car is a hybrid. No, not a “green” hybrid car you have to plug in for a charge—or rather the type of car ((aka tin can on wheels) he wants all of us to drive. Obama’s car is a hybrid that uses the innards of a Chevrolet Kodiak, which is a truck used for commercial hauling, and is melded with Cadillac body parts designed to look like a 2008 DTS. It is structured with 8-inch security plates of solid steel throughout the body, and all of the windows are 5 inches thick with impenetrable multi-layered glass. (I wonder if he can hear Michelle through them?) In total the automobile weighs just shy of eight tons, with each door weighing in similar to that of an 857-passenger airline jet.
Although details of the presidential limo are classified for security reasons, various reports say that it features James Bond-style options, including a night vision system. It also carries communications gear and, in the trunk, a blood bank matching the president’s type.
This Presidential Limo is quite the upgrade when compared to what all other Presidents have been chauffeured around in. It was Kennedy’s assassination that obviously changed the prototype for the wheels of the most powerful man on earth.
The new limo promises to be even sturdier than The Beast. According to FedBizOpps.gov, work on the New Design Armored Limousine “will include concept development, armor design, initial automotive component selection and chassis development, material testing, armor system modeling and simulation, and armor system fabrication and testing (live fire).”
In honor of the president’s new car, I have a few suggestions for bumper stickers and I’d love to hear yours in the comment section below:
OBUMMER ONE
I heart SOCIALISM
HONK …if you are un-employed
NO Crackers
My Changes Leaves No Hope
The IRS ROCKS
VOTE Yes on Amendment one: Presidential Tenure
CARTER LOVES ME!
I VOTE YES! For INFANTICIDE
Zero FREEDOM
I know NOTHING!
Whistleblowers SUCK!
CHICAGO TUFF
MY Way Or The HIGHWAY
One thing of which I am absolutely certain is that after the President and Mrs. Obama return to civilian life, I expect to see two battery charged cars in his driveway, because after all, he would never want to be seen as a hypocrite…
