BurkaChick CrackersAs BurkaChick, a caustic commie cracker, I have become enamored with the liberal defense of urban terminology. Recently, during the Zimmerman persecution, I was made aware of several terms used by witness Racheal Jeantel. Terms, that had she not used, I might have regarded as derogatory (such as “retarded” or “creepy ass cracker”). Come to find out, my perception was entirely misdirected. In reading liberal commentary, I was made aware that due to Ms. Jeantel’s age and African American background, and I being Caucasian, I am completely inadequate to make any assumptions. Unlike 15-year-old African American witness Chad Joseph, who was well spoken and articulate, I am instructed to instead admire Ms. Jeantel’s beefy attitude and overlook any changing testimony due to her color. And I was instructed especially, that the term “cracker” is not a negative, just a description.  In my Caucasian mind, I calculated. According to my liberal instruction: Would Ms. Jeantel’s testimony as an African American, be the same in comparison as “Honey Boo-Boo” reflecting all Caucasians? However, I was informed my cracker cranium could not contemplate any color condescension.

So now that my liberal elites have cleared up the cracker confusion (kinda), I have to think to myself: “Are all Caucasian creatures crackers?” And who among us classified “crackers” are creepy ass? I was liberally led to believe that “creepy ass” refers to a person of perceived authority (or a pervert – it was unclear). Now that the explanation was given of a “Caucasian person of authority”, I further began to ponder who among us lefty libs would be considered the ultimate “creepy ass cracker” (aka “Caucasian person of authority”). Couldn’t be the president (well, only half, according to some). But the answer is obvious, the two prominent persons of our nation to fit the liberal explanation of “Caucasian person of authority” (I assume gender is off the table) would be our elite liberal leaders of the land: Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi! So according to my liberal lamestream louts, what I was thought was a derogatory declaration, is now to be considered as a congratulatory salutation.

So here’s to Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi: Our nations two leading “Creepy Ass Crackers”!  (aka “Caucasian persons of authority”…..or perverts – it was unclear…)


BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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