What’s to Become of Jabbering Jay Smarmy? by BurkaChick
As BurkaChick, a proud progressive propagandist, I am deeply concerned about the future of our White House spokesperson, Jabbering Jay Smarmy. I have been in awe of his ability to escape and tap dance his way through all the current White House scandals (Houdini and Gene Kelly would be proud). But I worry what is to become of him if he goes the way of Robert “Glibb” or conservative 501(c) (4) s. Is he to fall into obscurity like his predecessors Joe Isuzu, Baghdad Bob and Tokyo Rose? Or is he to continue on with the scandals, perhaps feeling ashamed and with a paper bag over his head like Sylvester the cat’s son (“Oh Mthstir President, the shame, the disthgrace”)? I don’t think anyone realizes what astonishing abilities our Jay has and has taken his trollop talents for granted.
So what could the future hold for him? Could he be a game show host for a new show titled, “What’s My Lie”? Or enter an Eddie Haskell impersonation contest? Perhaps start a band singing a remake of the 50’s classic “The Great Pretender”? But I sense that would be a waste of his “lie”abilities. For as the name Carney suggests, I believe his ancestory.com search would reveal where his genuine talent begins. Unlike the circus barker who portrays a bit of sophistication with his skill, the carnival (“carney”) trade is more transient and has the sleazy reputation of “puttin’ one over on the folks” that our Jay has become accustomed to. So what would we see at a Carney-val? Perhaps some games like “Guess Your IRS” where folks have to guess which conservative organization will be targeted next? How about “Shoot the Benghazi Bull”, “Dunk the Bunk”, “Whack-the-Facts” or “Scandal Skeeball”? There would certainly be the Carney-val freak show starring the “The Incredible Shrinking Truth” and the “Liar Breathing Boy” with special appearances by the hideous “Two-Faced Eric Holder” and “Lois Lerner – The Freakish Fifth Taking Lady”. And, of course, the food would be a huge assortment of all the famous “con”- Carney’s.
Yes, I think our Jabbering Jay has many options after his White House stint. If nothing else, he could just continue on at what he does best. There will always be a demand for the oldest profession in the world.