HOW TO DEFINE THE LIBERAL RED LINE (Or: “Red Line My Behind!”) by BurkaChick

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As BurkaChick, the typical sanctimonious socialist, it has come to my attention that some of you are questioning our liberal “Red Line” lingo. It seems the White House definition of “gathering all the facts” and “waiting to determine” has left a confusion of where a foreign policy red line would be.  That particular red line is proudly made of rubber and when confronted we cry, “Red line my behind!”.  We can stretch it out with phrases like “strong suspicion” till we move onto the big “nah-uh” letter (this time all in caps!) or have the UN debate it for years. As for a Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi red line, it sculpts like silly putty. You can bend and twist it to fit any liberal agenda.

When defending the world’s most vulnerable and/or our nation’s heroes, the red line stretches and has many more shades from our usual leftist hue. Never mind Netanyahu, we liberals need to clarify and justify till we “weenie-fy” our way to the dictators of the world. The Muslim Brotherhood and all it’s cohorts watch us “Barney Fife” our way toward standing up to terror.

So, you may wonder, where is our liberal red line? We certainly do have one and hell has no mercy if anyone should cross it. It isn’t vague or sympathetic or a cry such as “What difference does it make”. It doesn’t write letters or cave with cowardice. It is cold and calculating, cruel and precise. Everyone knows where our taut liberal red line is and only those with conviction and morals will dare to question or cross it. Justice Clarence Thomas just reminded us where it is-but in case there is any confusion, I can give the short list:

Conservative! Conservative! Conservative!!

Dare to be or think the above and our red line wrath is as biting and ethically challenged as we are. We liberals will squirm and squiggle like “Earthworm Jim” and sway as empty shopping bags on a freeway when it comes to a foreign policy red line. But cross our Ruskie red line of socialist ideals and we’ll bark and bully and call out the shock troops.

When it comes to the liberal red line and any conservative American ideals, we’ll tantrum and cry out with our typical progressive flair. After all, who can argue with Cruella de Vil and Nelson Muntz?

(Thank you Jack Martin for the photo!)


BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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