Jealousy, Envy and “Duck Dynasty”

Duck DynastyBy BurkaChick

As BurkaChick, a typical liberal hypocrite, I find my progressive panties in a wad about the latest super rated reality show, “Duck Dynasty”. Could it be Miss Kay’s clutter habit and fabulous down home cooking? Or Uncle Si stating, “I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea”? Or their interpreting posted speed limits as “Just a suggestion”? Or the independent successful “Duck Commander” family business? Or the loving family dinners said with prayers at the end of each show? Doesn’t the public understand this is a democratic doomsday scenario?

Whatever happened to moral decline in our entertainment? What about dysfunctional families and brutal serial killers for a laugh? What about gross violence and torturing women to lighten up a Saturday night? Or having babies speak as perverted adult men? Or demeaning rhetoric about our country or conservative blacks for our gamut of giggles? Or making slandering, over the top, unfunny Youtube video’s about a former civil rights activist who has now past on? Haven’t we learned anything from our “past his prime” Jim Carrey ludicrous liberals and the “listen to your daddy” Chris Rock profane progressives? “Duck Dynasty” and its success in the entertainment arena is a slap in the face to our indecent democratic American ideal and it must stop!

But how do we diminish their appeal to the public? How do we vent our jealousy and envy of their skyrocketing ratings? How can our lewd and lascivious liberal ideals prevail? Oh, that’s right. The “Duck Dynasty” Clan owns weaponry. Not for killing innocent victims, but for hunting to provide a family dinner. Good enough! Our lobotomized low information viewers won’t know the difference! Our “Sandra Fluck is a woman in crisis” crowd. Our “Benghazi is an arthritic pain-reliever” crowd. Our “Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrm were just going through a silly phase” crowd. They’ll buy it. We can always count on them! So we’ll shout anti-gun phooey at them and “animal serial killers” at them and none of the “Friday the 13th Part 6,002” crowd will ever be the wiser.

PS – Rumor has it the White House has a new reality show spin-off coming called, “Counting Czars”!




BurkaChick grew up in the lovely town of Detroit, Michigan. She remembers a time when the city was booming because of the greedy capitalistic car companies. But now is thrilled the city has finally come into it's democratic own. BurkaChick says, 'Who needs a home or a job in this liberal paradise? All you need is one good bullet proof vest to live in this union-filled utopia!' BurkaChick's idol in her early teens was the President of the United States, Jimmy Carter. She admired his fortitude in all things liberal, but was highly disappointed when Reagan came in and rescued the hostages in Iran after only 444 days in captivity. "What a show-off!" she was quoted as saying. She wanted to campaign for Jimmy's reelection, but there was no gasoline to get to his headquarters. Which was a real bummer since she was living in her car since the mortgage interest rate was at 22%. BurkaChick then went on to, well, she doesn't really remember much since she was wasted through most of the eighties and nineties. Today she is an avid fan of Obama's. She cannot wait till George Clooney remakes a film about the life of Michelle Obama in the Whitehouse called, "The King and I." She is a hugh fan of The View, Susan Sarandon, MSNBC, all things uber liberal and of course Occupy Wall Street. BurkaChick loves what Occupy stands for and has volunteered to help decorate their rape tents and paint all porta-potties to resemble police vehicles.

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