(From Editor to Media: The following is something called “satire”. We feel the need to state this upfront since you base all your news reports on rumors and innuendo…)
Representative Adam Schiff (D–Glendale CA), Ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee has found proof of collusion between candidate Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. According to “sources” this is the actual transcript from Trump wiretaps in 2016:
DT: Hello, Vladimir, my pal.
VP: Hello, my good friend Donald. What is up?
DT: Did you get my message asking you to find Hillary Clinton’s missing 33,000 emails?
VP: Of course, Donald. Whole world got your message.
DT: Did you look for the emails?
VP: No. We had them already.
DT: You had already hacked into her server?
VP: No, no. We bought her emails from China. Ha, ha.
DT: What is in them?
VP: Everything…but no yoga, no Chelsea wedding, no Momma’s funeral. Just usual classified
secrets. Nuclear programs. Troop deployment. CIA operatives. Just pages of secrets..
So how can I help you, my comrade?
DT: Well, Vladimir, it looks like Hillary is going to win.
VP: Yes. By blowout.
DT: That’s the thing. I want to win, and I need your help.
DT: Call her. Do you still have that cute red reset button? She’ll listen to you.
VP: What should I tell her?
DT: Tell her to get some rest. That she doesn’t need to campaign in Wisconsin, Michigan,
Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Carolina or Florida.
VP: That is all?
DT: Oh, no. I need election hacking. You know, voting machines, paper ballots and all that.
In those six states.
VP: I will take care of it. It will be fun. You need California? We still have KGB connections
DT: No thank you. That should do it. I’ll win big. Huge.
VP: Should I poison her?
DT: No, no, no. Not necessary. It looks like she might drop dead at any time anyway. Don’t
VP: So that is it?
DT: Absolutely. If you’re in Washington next year, stop in and see me. I’ll be at 1600
VP: OK. Dasvidanya, Donald.
DT: Goodbye, Vladimir. Bring your golf clubs. We’ll fly to Mar-a-Lago. You’ll like Air Force
This is explosive. Articles of Impeachment are already being drafted by the intellectual wing of Democratic leadership in the House of Representatives, led by Adam Schiff and Maxine Waters. Slam dunk.