Caveat from Author: I can only work with what the news gives me, so I strongly suggest you dust off ye olde family laugh track for this article. While I mean every word I wrote, the behavior of the other side has been rich with irony and actions so stereotypical and hilarious that I think I blew out my rear axle while writing this. I tried my best, really I did, but one can only hold back laughter that has built up to dangerous levels for so long. So don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Eric Holder, that bastion of decency, law, and order, has decided once again to give the middle finger to states’ rights. Days after Gov. Gary Herbert declared that no gay marriage would be recognized in the state of Utah until the appeal before the United States Supreme Court is settled (including the approx. 1300 that have already taken place), Holder decided to challenge a state built on standing its ground against a nation that once tried destroy its founders, to a duel:
The Obama administration extended federal recognition to the marriages of more than 1,000 same-sex couples in Utah that took place before the Supreme Court put those unions in the state on hold…That means gay and lesbian couples can file federal taxes jointly, get Social Security benefits for spouses and request legal immigration status for partners.
Attorney General Eric Holder said the families should not be asked to endure uncertainty regarding their benefits while courts decide the issue of same-sex marriage in Utah…Gov. Gary Herbert told state agencies this week to put a freeze on proceeding with any new benefits for the newly married gay and lesbian couples until the courts sort out the matter. KSL.com, January 10, 2014
So it’s a fight he wants, does he? I just happen to know the big-shouldered dame who can give it to him.
I mean besides me.
In my “One To Watch in Utah” category I have firmly placed Cherilyn Bacon-Eager, who is bringing the fight to the front of the line with her cadre of supporters, young and old, male and female, straight and…well, straight. There are enough twists and turns in this trek to victory; we don’t need any added “crooks” in our road.
Cherilyn is assembling her team of parents, grandparents, college students, members of all sorts of religious groups and a smattering of political activists who are determined to get it through the heads of the Feds that “no means no.”
And unlike the local gay community, Cherilyn can do it without any gay paradin,’ drag team wearin’ line up of overdone, glitter-doused couples strutting their way down the avenue to the strains of “We Are Family” (ensuring a whole new generation will forever reject Sister Sledge for the more soothing tones of a sledgehammer cracking old toilets). As evidence, I offer the following from today’s designated gay spokesman. (I promise, the following quote, which I’ll label “Stereotype of the Decade,” is directly from today’s article at KSL.com):
“Our apartment burst into celebratory anthems of Cher and Beyoncé,” said Seth Anderson about his reaction to Holder’s statement. “It is a great feeling to know the federal government stands with us, especially in a state that has for years tried to exclude us.”
Uh…..yeeeeah. Someone might want to get Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson, the first and fabulous gay couple to wed in the Beehive state, to tone it down a bit… As for being in a “state that has excluded us for years,” all I can say is that if anyone knows about “The Man” keeping him down, it’s you, Seth.
Of course, our own Fearless Leader supports Holder’s decision, having come out in support of gay marriage in May 2012.
The founding group of Utah, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons), released a statement reminding local leaders that same-sex wedding ceremonies and receptions are forbidden in their churches. They also made it clear that their position on homosexuality has not changed: it is not condoned by God.
“Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established,” the statement said. “God expects us to uphold and keep His commandments regardless of divergent opinions or trends in society. His law of chastity is clear: sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”
Leaders said they and others who oppose same-sex marriages are entitled to express their views without fear of retribution. Likewise, the church urged its members to be kind and respectful to proponents of same-sex marriage.
Mormons remain the largest group in Utah, with 2/3 of the people in the state belonging to the only religion in American history to have government-ordered “wipe ’em out” directives issued by elected leaders, the cause of the Mormon people fleeing for their lives to the Utah Territories to escape the murder, rape, and unending persecution from the only nation on earth to have religious freedom at the time. So virulent was Mormon hatred that Ft. Douglas was set up overlooking Salt Lake City for the expressed purpose of keeping an eye on the Mormons. In fact, their favorite saying on the base in those early days was this charming adage: First the Injuns, then the Mormons. Attacks on our Temples and Churches happened as recently as 2008, when we led the charge in California with Proposition 8.
So bring it on, Holder–Utah’s been through worse. You may be fast and furious, and your boss may have no problem ignoring Americans calling for help when under attack by enemies, but you’d do well to remember that a beehive does more than buzz.
Keep the faith, bros, in all things courage, and no substitute for VICTORY.